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Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
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Its About Time..
Written on: Friday, October 2, 2009
Time: 10:40 AM
Heyho.
Basically I don't like and enjoy who and what I've become. I didn't eat properly for 3 days. If you considered a slice of bread in the morning at 7, and all the way until 7 in the evening and a bowl of cold soup, or the very next day would be slice of bread and a hot milo all the way until 10 at night and some warm water till 4.30 in the morning, despite the fact that i was doing my assignment till 5 in the morning and woke up at 6.30 in the morning, or half bowl of oats untiil 3 in the afternoon, "indomee kecil" until 1:45 in the morning.
Not to mention, I'm getting involve in ciggarettes. Hey, I starve AND smoke. How problematic am i? I don't want to be the next Britney Spears, neither the next Lindsanity Lohan. No offence to LiLo's fans out there, because I love Lindsay.
I tend to break down easily. Even when I misplaced my pink Minnie Mouse pendrive, i thought I lost it, I started to weep. Till one of my friend was actually having it, she found it in the lab during class. When I'm doing my assignment, I'm stuck during the assignment, couldn't think of anything but our memories, couldn't focus, when I left a few more hours before the submission, I start to weep. & my friend would comfort me and guide me. When I got a very very bad grade, I weep. Even doing this, I'm starting to weep. My bestf in college is gone, because she has some problems that she has to settle. & I'm missing her so much, I miss talking to her, I miss her presence and her jokes, I start to weep.
This is not me. I don't weep when I'm stuck during an essay or assignment. I don't weep when I lost my pendrive. I don't weep when I got bad grades, but yes I will be depressed, but not weep. Not in public or in class or outside the hall!
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't want to be this emotional person. I really am not. Seriously. But, I'm becoming one..
Its weird that you can go on without me. You're doing so fine without me. I just wish I'm more like you. I just wish I could go on a day wearing that cap, going out with friends, not thinking about you nor anything, lighting that ciggarettes and laughing and have the time of my life with my friends, playing pool with a bunch of hot unknown guys, giggling and flirting, being super duper nice and agreeing to go out with guys. I wish I could all those. I wish I could do it, just like how you did it. It looks simple. But no. I couldn't. I realise what I'm doing to myself. But, I couldn't help it. Thats how much the damage has caused in me. I could not stand back up after the fall. Nobody told me it was this difficult and hard.
I hate who I've become. I really do. But I just can't stop doing it again and again.
Stupid much? Maybe..
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Its About Time..
Written on: Friday, October 2, 2009
Time: 10:40 AM
Heyho.
Basically I don't like and enjoy who and what I've become. I didn't eat properly for 3 days. If you considered a slice of bread in the morning at 7, and all the way until 7 in the evening and a bowl of cold soup, or the very next day would be slice of bread and a hot milo all the way until 10 at night and some warm water till 4.30 in the morning, despite the fact that i was doing my assignment till 5 in the morning and woke up at 6.30 in the morning, or half bowl of oats untiil 3 in the afternoon, "indomee kecil" until 1:45 in the morning.
Not to mention, I'm getting involve in ciggarettes. Hey, I starve AND smoke. How problematic am i? I don't want to be the next Britney Spears, neither the next Lindsanity Lohan. No offence to LiLo's fans out there, because I love Lindsay.
I tend to break down easily. Even when I misplaced my pink Minnie Mouse pendrive, i thought I lost it, I started to weep. Till one of my friend was actually having it, she found it in the lab during class. When I'm doing my assignment, I'm stuck during the assignment, couldn't think of anything but our memories, couldn't focus, when I left a few more hours before the submission, I start to weep. & my friend would comfort me and guide me. When I got a very very bad grade, I weep. Even doing this, I'm starting to weep. My bestf in college is gone, because she has some problems that she has to settle. & I'm missing her so much, I miss talking to her, I miss her presence and her jokes, I start to weep.
This is not me. I don't weep when I'm stuck during an essay or assignment. I don't weep when I lost my pendrive. I don't weep when I got bad grades, but yes I will be depressed, but not weep. Not in public or in class or outside the hall!
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't want to be this emotional person. I really am not. Seriously. But, I'm becoming one..
Its weird that you can go on without me. You're doing so fine without me. I just wish I'm more like you. I just wish I could go on a day wearing that cap, going out with friends, not thinking about you nor anything, lighting that ciggarettes and laughing and have the time of my life with my friends, playing pool with a bunch of hot unknown guys, giggling and flirting, being super duper nice and agreeing to go out with guys. I wish I could all those. I wish I could do it, just like how you did it. It looks simple. But no. I couldn't. I realise what I'm doing to myself. But, I couldn't help it. Thats how much the damage has caused in me. I could not stand back up after the fall. Nobody told me it was this difficult and hard.
I hate who I've become. I really do. But I just can't stop doing it again and again.
Stupid much? Maybe..
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Profile
Ashley is the name. Short for Ash. Currently doing Communication at Taylors College. At times, I'm a very dramatic person.
I'm known as a tantrum-thrower with mood swings. Its bad, but, this is me.
I love fashion, but I do not claim myself as a fashionista. I love shopping, but I don't think I'm as extreme as a shoppaholic.
Basically, I will go nuts and gaga over shoes that make me go horny and lick my lips. No, I'm not materialistic, but I do love branded-goods. Like, which girl doesn't?
Not to mention..
I ♥ Emiraldi
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